Two middles and an Orange Creamsicle Smoothie

a theory on birth order and a high protein smoothie for summer

Hi creamies. Here’s what’s in store for you today:

• a very serious and well researched theory

• an Orange Creamsicle Smoothie recipe

one blob (read on)

We both have a lot of air energy in our big three astrology placements (sun, moon, rising). There are 3 air signs - Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius - so if you too have placements in those signs, you’re also an airhead. Welcome to the club of useless chat and random ass ideas! Consider this newsletter your initiation.

I don’t know about you, but I love nothing more than when someone says “I have a theory about…” except if they say “I’m not gonna eat my fries.” Don’t mind if I do. I can’t offer you fries right now so how about a theory on how birth order affects relationships?

thick fries in Paris, again don’t mind if I do

Birth Order Relationship Dynamics

The birth order categories are as follows: oldest sibling, middle child, and youngest sibling (baby). The only children are being lumped in with the babies because they give off similar energy in this scientific theory we’ve developed. Don’t be offended by the lumping. Amy and I are lumped together so often we started calling ourselves one blob (it’s giving middle children, which we both are).

Here is our breakdown of birth order dynamics in romantic relationships.

Disclaimer: don’t get mad at us for anything we say here. Also, the two people in the pretend relationships below aren’t siblings to each other…but you must have known that unless this is House of the Dragon- in that case the rules don’t matter, date your uncle!

• Oldest - Oldest

  • you guys get each other because you know what it’s like to take on responsibilities, speak for the group, and be in charge of the directions at all times (is this just our older sister)? there is the chance of a power struggle since both of you are strong headed - but with a little give and take, you’ll be golden.

• Middle - Middle

  • elite match - speaking as a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter… middle children are accustomed to not being the center of attention (it’s giving invisible) so they’re more chill and go with the flow. they’re used to bouncing between roles, so there should be minimal power dynamics.

• Baby - Baby

  • this is great if you are the two people in the relationship. you understand each other’s emotional needs (which can be higher maintenance than most, no offense). to outsiders, you might be perceived as two babies in a relationship, which you are. it’s a win for you because who cares what other people think. go off babies - we just wish we were you!!

• Oldest - Middle

  • this one has stumped me the most tbh. i’m partial to say that any combination with a middle child will be amazing because middles are cool with relinquishing responsibilities (my forte) and letting the older siblings lead. if you’re in this type of relationship, we’d love to hear your thoughts.

• Oldest - Baby

  • this is either opposites attract or older getting fed up with baby’s antics and vice versa. i think it works better when it’s a guy oldest and girl baby because the girls can shut their brain off in the airport (ok babygirl) and let the guy lead but a girl oldest is not used to doing that (it’s somehow all about navigating?)

• Middle - Baby

  • this has the potential to be a good match because the middle definitely has experience dealing with the baby of the family. both should be able to see each other’s perspective’s and aren’t surprised by the dynamic. it’s actually a perfect match and no I’m not just saying that because this is my current relationship dynamic so it better work out!!!!!!

Summer Parties and Sisterly Advice

Thank you for letting us get that out of our system and remember - don’t date your sibling! If you have any thoughts on our theory or would like to rip it apart so that you can back your own relationship - keep it to yourself. Jk, please share with the class!!!

Anyway, we’re having a party this weekend (that’s us letting you know we are cool, have friends, and drink alcohol) and we’ll be making our favorite beverage, Spiked Pink Lemonade. You should too (it’s only 3 ingredients). We made a Partiful for the event and someone rsvp’ed as Beans. Beans, if you’re reading this, WHO ARE YOU?!

the drink of the summer

Before we leave you with a banging recipe that you’ll be making all summer long… here’s something Julie and I have been saying to encourage each other when we’re feeling ~ not our best ~ “don’t worry, ugly people can make it too.” Try it out on your friends if you don’t want any!

TIME TO GET CREAMY (immediate regret)

It’s Smoothie Season

If you’re new here (hey Beans), congratulations on having impeccable taste. To fill you in, the past few weeks we’ve been obsessed with hyperpop, West from Summer House, and most importantly, creamsicles.

What even is a creamsicle… is it an old school ice cream bar or sherbet (ok why is sherbet spelled like this, that’s insane)? Either way, you know the flavor profile we’re getting at. It’s fruity, refreshing, and delightful.

Since creating this high-protein creamsicle smoothie, I have probably made it 50 times. It’s the perfect post-workout meal, even better if you’re fresh out the slammer sauna or a sweaty run because it’s hydrating and delicious.

Even if you’re not a creamsicle person (would never have considered myself one) give it a try and tell me you don’t love it!! Something about it is addicting af.

Come and get it Beans.

Orange Creamsicle Smoothie Recipe

(serves 1)

Ingredients:

• 1 orange, peeled

• 1 frozen banana

• 1/4 cup vegan Greek yogurt (we use Kite Hill or Oatmilk Skyr)

• 1 serving protein powder (our fav is Ora Organics)

• optional: 1/2 tablespoon honey

• optional: water or plant milk, to thin

Method:

1. Add the peeled orange, frozen banana, Greek yogurt, protein powder, and optional honey to your blender. Blend until smooth, adding water or plant milk as needed!

2. Enjoy with extra yogurt and a drizzle of honey.

Recipe Note:

If you have a good, ripe orange you shouldn’t need any more liquid to blend - but if the orange is kind of sad, you might need to add some water or milk. Do your best to find a juicy one (this is weird advice).